Patience and Intention Experiments

I think too often, people behind the counter (service consultants)
don’t genuinely acknowledge the fact that one has had to wait to get
things done and people in front of the counter (customers) forget that
you have probably been yelled at or dealt harshly with, most of the day.

This comes from an email I just wrote to a service center representative and copied his boss at a local car dealership. This is eventful because it comes in conjunction with me reading Dale Carnegie’s book, as written in an earlier post. I can’t say the person dealing with me was overly friendly (a turnoff sometimes) but something about him reflected a reasonable, sweet and calm personality (is it freaky that I was reading "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell, while waiting at the service center?).

Mashing the two books/ideas together and my own observations, I definitely feel strongly about the quote. I think another common mistake people on either side of the counter make, is to forget that each is just doing his/her job (or chore). Each has a home, a family and life. The Service Consultant is still a person; he/she doesn’t take up the shape, form or personality of a dealership. I’ll be very interested in poking around to see what sort of training program that particular dealership has, because when I looked around, other Service Consultants seemed to share my guy’s view as well.

Last year, I had a similar experience with the Town of Arlington, MA Town Clerk who cut the usual red tape and got my work done in 4 days, what usually takes 14 days! I am not kidding …. this comes after the fact that I briefly felt ignored when I walked in there for the first time. What was the charm that worked?? I did not put up a fight with them on the paperwork they needed to process my request. Apparently, someone before me had worked up a storm when asked for more paperwork and I came in with a humbler approach and friendliness. It got my work done.

So the Town Clerk’s office’s pain-point was the heated debate that people got in over paperwork. Similarly, the car dealership service center’s pain point is probably the fact that customers (I hate the word) come in yelling or upset over the smallest of things. When I took care of both issues, the doors opened for me.

And oh, the Service Consultant sent me home without charing a pie for the diagnostic services ($94/hr + tax)! I don’t care if you’re thinking "oh well, they did it to trick this guy into coming back", because I don’t think that was the intention.

I’ve always tried to reward good intention from what I understand of the situation. If I get cheated by someone, the only thing that will work out in the end is a person’s karma. I care about good intention because, that is what differentiates monsters from humans.

Patience and good intention …. we all could use more of it, couldn’t we?

Judgment

This is such a simple idea (quote by Dr. Samuel Jackson)

“God himself, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days, Why should you and I?”

It is an old one, and a modern version would read: “God does not propose to judge a person until the end of his or her days, Why should you and I?”.

It has stopped me in my tracks in judging someone’s mistakes. On The Daily Show last night, the guest said (and I paraphrase) that there are more bacteria in one centimeter of one’s colon, than there are people that ever lived on the planet. So where does your ego fit in? We’re so insignificant, that our egos are just like air to fish – inconsequential.

Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is just brilliant (this is where I picked up the quote from). I am glad that it is the one I picked up after an unforced hiatus from reading. My last book was Blue Ocean Strategy, which I couldn’t stop gushing about. Carnegie’s book is usable 70 years after its first edition was published, albeit with a few changes. But this book is brilliantly simple and elegant. I can see where Tim Sanders got his inspiration to write Love is the Killer App and The Likeability Factor.

I was at the car dealership this morning arriving on time for an appointment booked last week. It wasn’t in the system. I kept this quote in mind and got re-booked for next week. But another interesting thing happened. A dealership manager employee (Bryan) wanted to speak with John (the Service Consultant dealing with me). Bryan was asked to wait until business with me was completed. When I was done, he asked a quick question to John, for which he waited 5-7 minutes! In my usual enthusiasm, I exclaimed that Bryan could have just asked that simple question without having had to wait and thanked him for his patience, at which time his face lit up.

This is a principle that I think is applicable mostly in fully developed nations. In third-world countries like India and China, and from my personal experience in one of them, Carnegie’s ideas may not be absolutely applicable. I think it has to do where one country is on the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. The lower you are, the less applicable are Carnegie’s ideas.

Maybe I’m not making out the difference between being nice and Carnegie’s ideas because say if you (following these ideas) get bad service at a service provider and make no bones about it, but I do, then generally speaking, the service provider is more inclined to solve my problem because I am less accommodating than you. Again, maybe the distinction between being nice and being nonjudgmental is missed by me. I’ve had similar experiences in the US as well.

My approach to subordinates has changed as well (and this is true in individualistic cultures like the US, again related to the stage of development). Subordinates in places like Asia will never appreciate it if their bosses followed Carnegie’s ideas. Indeed, they’ll bear puzzled looks if the boss suddenly accepts all their mistakes and only finds good words for them. Bosses will then look weak.

A weak-looking boss, is an ineffective one. The good thing about highly advanced nations is that, well, they’re highly advanced. They’re not in a survival mode and seek self-actualization ventures. This is essentially where Carnegie’s ideas come into play.

I guess the important takeaway is that one must decide the route that he or she wants to follow. I personally would like to combine two goals of mine: I want to make big money. I want to be the nicest guy you know (and ethical). You may have heard of many hard-charging people who make big bucks and yet may not be as nice or ethical. This book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie”, has given me yet another way to find out how I can combine my two goals and be happy. At the end of the day, that is what all of us want, be it in any way, shape or form – happiness.

Here is the Wikipedia entry on the book.
My entry on BOS (Blue Ocean Strategy).
Tim Sander’s first (Love is the Killer App) and second (The Likeability Factor) book.

Chrysler Nitro Ethics

Chrysler Group was dismayed to discover that an advertisement created
by an ad agency supporting our Netherlands Market Performance Center
goes far beyond the bounds of what the company considers appropriate,”
Chrysler said in a statement.

The company says it was dismayed to find that fictional animal torture was outside what it considered appropriate. No one really enjoys torture except a perverted mind.

Nice way to push the envelope to find out how far people’s sensibilities can be tinkered with, and oh, the dismay is because they found the limit. It doesn’t matter how far one went out of bounds – an out is an out.

Or am I reading too much into it?

News link on CNN.

Green Card Fiasco FOLLOW UP

I’d like to take some credit for temporarily resolving this situation, but of course, that’s not right! Thanks to the help of the many people who protested peacefully through flowers, the AILA threatening to file a law suit and Sheela Murthy for having reached out to Chertoff of the DHS (they both went to Harvard, at different times), the USCIS has decided to reopen filing of the final stage (I-485)of the green card process.Click here for the USCIS August Bulletin.

Green Card Fiasco

If retaining top talent is the #1 priority for managers, then why is it so hard for positive change in governmental rules?

In the raging debate over illegal immigration, guess what? Legal immigration was sidelined. While some employers are in need for people who jump fences, others are much more in need of qualified legal immigrants – so this whole fiasco underscores the fact that if one gets caught up in the politics of a situation, then one will surely miss the financial and operational reality.

The recent green card fiasco has put thousands of legal workers into a tizzy because of the USCIS July bulletin update. Visa filing fees will also triple by the end of July. So putting two-and-two together results in a very expensive process for hiring talent that is missing in this country, that international folks provide.

This situation hits hard for Indians and Chinese, possibly more than any other nation. Guess which immigrant population in the US makes the most money, pays the most taxes and runs most of the startups? Yep.

Here is an interesting article on Business Week called "The Gandhi Protests Pay Off". If you’d like to learn more about the current situation, visit Sheela Murthy’s website.

This is the BusinessWeek Article. This is Sheela Murthy.